Carefully Chosen Words

I know most of you probably don't feel like you need a reminder that an online community can be a place of dramatic misunderstandings, but a recent experience prompts me to write this anyway. Even though our passion for photography might hint at some common predispositions, the people who make up NPN come from innumerable different backgrounds. My impression is that nearly everyone I've come into contact with here has the desire to be friendly, helpful, and positive (and maybe we like to have our egos stroked every once in a while). Still, personalities sometimes prove to be incompatible, and the results of discord can leave a void in the community.

Last week I butted into a thread that was in the middle of a much more fiery debate than I perceived. I made some comments that were easy to misunderstand, and the outcome of the misinterpretation was far reaching. Ultimately, NPN lost a voice (at least fore the time being) of a person for whom I have a great deal of respect. I'm going to be careful in the future to get a grip on the tenor of a thread before posting in addition to being more conservative in my posting in general.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I hope that this community can live up to the ideals I know a lot of us expect out of it.

I'm sorry to hear that, Kent. But your reminder is on point and timely.

I agree with Steve, but I think you may be coming down a little too hard on yourself. I don't know which thread you're referencing, but I do know the threads in the "Hot Topics" forum can sometimes become "Hot" indeed. If you meant no malice (and I'm sure you didn't) I wouldn't worry about it too much. Sometimes the truth hurts, and feelings may get bruised, but I would MUCH rather have someone tell me the truth as they see it and hurt my feelings than get some mealymouthed PC comment that means nothing. Plain talk I can deal with (even when it hurts). I have much more respect for a person who tells me what they really believe, even when I might vehemently disagree with them. My best friend (and boss for 20+ years) and I have totally opposite viewpoints on most EVERY subject, and we have had some true knock down, drag out discussions over the years, but at the end of the day, we're always willing to sit down and have a drink and still be friends. Spirited (but respectful) discussion makes the world go 'round!

Well, there's a reason it's called "Hot Topics". The expectation is that some of these will be contentious, which is exactly why they were moved out of the general discussion forums. I have not seen the specific discussion but as long as you were not rude or offensive, I don't think you were at fault.

Guy

Thanks guys, for the comments. And I'm not really torn up about the role I played, just frustrated at the outcome of the situation. I promised myself I would start this thread just in case it could do some good.

I've seen a few little things like this... It sounds like you didn't do anything wrong but I do understand the frustration. I think one problem is that it's easier to be more harsh online when you're not talking to someone face to face. And I think it's easier to get offended sometimes for the same reason. It's hard to tell how people are really coming across when you can't see their face, body language, etc. So this is a good reminder to keep these things in mind when commenting, as well as receiving comments. As you said, most of those on NPN are friendly and helpful...it's the best community of it's kind!

Alice writes: It's hard to tell how people are really coming across when you can't see their face, body language, etc. So this is a good reminder to keep these things in mind when commenting, as well as receiving comments

I agree wholeheartedly, Alice. Perhaps more descriptive wording helps. For example, you cannot see my face but if I add that I am smiling then my comment is more likely to be taken in a positive way. The little round guys below help too. Although they can detract from a "serious" comment.

We also do not know the person we are commenting to. So reactions can vary. The best is not to let your emotions carry you away when a subject comes along that you feel strongly about.

Kent, it is good advice to get a grip on the tenor of a thread. Reading through all the comments carefully makes it easier to join in on the conversation. You can also detect the atmosphere pervading from it. As for you wanting to be more conservative in my posting in general don't let this deprive you from joining in at NPN.

Will
Edmonton, Alberta
Canada

I appreciate your dismay at an unexpected backlash, but the purpose of an internet forum is to make comments. Like you, I don't want to drive away people, but it might happen. This is a semi-anonymous exchange of notes and some of us will take the opportunity to either be offensive or feel offended. We can also just choose to be forthright and tell people what we really think, but that is some sort of

Pete D.

I'm sorry to hear that your intentions were misinterpreted, that hurts for both of you. As in "the real world" why not contact the offended party and express your true feelings and clear the air. Good luck.