I’m 66 next month and have been a photographer for 40 years so I’d know everything about photography if I hadn’t forgotten most of it. But I still know a lot about being an old guy with a camera. Taking up photography will give you a reason to go outside and maybe clean up your act a bit. Then you won’t come out of the bathroom looking like Jack Nicholson in About Schmidt.
Okay here we go. The difference between an old and a young photographer is subject matter. When you’re young you can hike anywhere and carry a large pack but when you’re old you have to go shorter distances in your pyjamas.
Handy rule of thumb about where to go: In the driveway is good.
And of course it’s important to prepare carefully when you age. If you’re going all the way to the street, take warm clothing and any medication you might need. Tell your wife where you’re going and inform local police. Give emergency services your mobile number and phone home when you’re half way there. That should be somewhere near the garage.
Handy rule of thumb about trail food: take something easy to chew, like milk.
Watch for bits of driveway grass that could trip you up, and try not to go arse-over-head on slippery concrete. An upturned geriatric photographer in chequered pyjamas with his legs in the air and dribble everywhere is enough to scare the crows.
If you tire half-way to the street, remember the old Special Services mantra: I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. If you can’t, take a nap. And if you can’t remember the mantra, forget what I just said … if you haven’t forgotten it already.
If you make it all the way to the street and then feel too tired to continue, call a taxi.
Now about equipment. Modern camera gear is heavy and cumbersome, designed for 18 year olds with four arms and muscles in their sweat. So, before embarking on your landscape shoot, chuck out anything in your camera bag that could slow you down. That huge 2-stop grad will have to go. So will those heavy lens tissues and any fluff you find hiding in the corners of the bag. (According to the AMA, heavy fluff is the number one killer among geriatric photographers).
Take only one lens. And remember:
• Make it a wide angle; anything longer than 28mm will be heavier than you are.
• Don’t activate focus beep; you’ll never hear it.
• Dial up INFO on the LCD. Anything else is too small to read, even with bifocals the size of milk bottles.
Handy rule of thumb about bracketing exposures: Don’t do it. You’ll never remember which is which.
• Set the camera to P for Professional.
• I glued the rubber viewfinder thingy to my 5D2 because it kept coming off when I pulled the camera out of the bag. Now I can’t get my camera out of the bag. So don’t glue your thingy.
• All camera bags are clumsy and poorly designed so do what I do: carry your camera in a footy sock around your neck. The only drawback with this method of equipment transfer is that when you topple backwards on wet concrete or trip on a blade of grass, the camera will wreak collateral damage. You’ll be upside-down in your $500 North Face mountaineering jacket (over chequered pyjamas) with your legs in the air and a 5D MKII in your mouth.
The decision about which tripod to carry is always a tetchy one with the elderly because tripods are heavy and unfriendly. But I’ve found two solutions: one; don’t use a tripod or; use something lighter than a tripod.
I’ve discovered through trial and catastrophe that common items from the average geriatric household make good tripod substitutes. For example, I’ve achieved acceptably sharp pictures by balancing my 5D2 on a walking stick, two crutches taped together and even on an oxygen cart. I’ve tried hanging my camera from a catheter too but that didn’t work, mainly because the catheter got tangled around my neck and I went down like a starving water buffalo at a Crowne Plaza buffet.
Handy rule of thumb about tripods and/or wheelchairs: if someone would fit a ballhead to a wheelchair, none of us geriatric photographers would have to walk anywhere - or own a tripod.
You probably know this, but old bones don’t flex as well as new ones and this means you’ll have to be careful with picture selection and composition.
Handy rule of thumb about composition: low angles are dangerous. You could be down there a week.
I found this out when I had the catheter around my neck and tried to get up quickly after taking the ultimate picture of a fence post.
Then there’s the matter of what to do with your pictures once you’ve crawled back to the bedroom and got the nurse to do the downloading. If you managed to navigate your way through the perilous straits and rocky outcrops of Photoshop, several on-line photo forums cater to the elderly, and since they receive only three or four pictures a year, thanks to those perilous straits and rocky outcrops, they’ll be glad if not overjoyed to publish your pictures.
Chief among these on-line sites is Soft Tissue, a forum promoting landscape photography among those too infirm to move in any direction. Pixel Pete is another, this one dedicated to 80 year old men who still believe a gallon of testosterone is sloshing around in their systems. Adventure Before Dementia is the new mover and shaker, a colourful, funky site for those who appreciate the larger than normal image format, the big writing, plus the occasional medical explanation, like how come your toe-nails are turning black.
All in all there’s a lot to get involved in if you’re an over 60s photographer who’s sick of playing Fun Things To Do In The Dark, or you’re bored with the weekly Easter egg colouring competition, exchanging cookies, quilt making, mowing the lawn with an iPad or learning Norwegian.
Don’t worry about Hue and Saturation or Smart Sharpen or Curves or Levels or any of that technical stuff. Just stick the camera on your crutch and leave the rest to Nurse Stoneface. She’ll be by next Tuesday. Maybe she’ll help you download again. Won’t that be nice?
-----------------------------
Posted by Lorna Taylor on April 27, 2012 at 9:57 PM
Too funny , I am looking forward to my photography golden years you make it seem like a lot of fun. Happy almost Birthday !!
Posted by Mark Stahlke on April 27, 2012 at 11:10 PM
And if you manage to get a picture, take a moment to thank goodness that photons are mass-less particles.
Posted by Jim Erhardt on April 28, 2012 at 6:55 AM
Good stuff, Barry!
Ain't growing old grand?
Posted by Jim Bullard on April 28, 2012 at 8:15 AM
That reminds me of a quote from Edward Weston. I believe it was "If it's more than 10 feet from the car, it isn't a good subject." FWIW though, I'm 67 and still hiking. I don't climb as many mountains but another feature of age is stubbornness so I plan to climb several this season. Come to think of it, I've always been stubborn.
Posted by Keith Bauer on April 28, 2012 at 8:52 AM
Thanks Barry. I'm not quite there yet, but getting closer by the minute. Forgot what else I was gong to add to this thread
Posted by Larry Fischer on April 28, 2012 at 9:32 AM
Barry,
You may be old but you still have a fertile mind. Very refreshing to see some light-heartedness in this day of
doom and gloom.
I'm 66 also and still do all the physical stuff.
Photographed in the Brooks Range, AK last August. Day packed up gulches and into saddles for several stunning vistas.
I've posted a few on NPN
Won't last forever but I've found with some training old people can still do some fantastic stuff.
the fisch
Posted by Howard Cheek on April 28, 2012 at 11:21 AM
I'll be 59 next month so you're right on time with this info Barry..
Should come in handy soon enough
Posted by Robert Dayton on April 28, 2012 at 6:25 PM
You're a riot, Barry! I imagine that you wrote for Carson before he retired. Are you
writing for Conan now?
Posted by Lon Overacker on April 28, 2012 at 6:27 PM
Too frickin' funny Barry, enjoyed the laugh. Only being a 1/2 generation behind, I have this to look forward to!
Hey guys, thanks for the warm response. I never know what I’m going to get when I post this stuff ( three HANDY RULES OF THUMB now), so yeah, it’s nice to find like-minded individuals who appreciate humor. If you want more, go to bazzlight.com.
Hilarious! Since I am 'pushing' 64, every day I wake up and look down at the grass, rather than up at it, is a good day!
I can add one to the driveway scenario: Don't twist around too quickly when the pretty young thing next door walks by. You will end up using the wheelchair tripod head sooner than you think.
What am I going to shoot at 66! I already have a great selection of shots from my driveway. I'm only 56 and I feel like Lazarus,
in need of some sort of resurrection. But on the positive side I have just started walking my make believe dog and with his help these still some hope of a revival.
Discussion
22 repliesBy Barry Ashenhurst
I’m 66 next month and have been a photographer for 40 years so I’d know everything about photography if I hadn’t forgotten most of it. But I still know a lot about being an old guy with a camera. Taking up photography will give you a reason to go outside and maybe clean up your act a bit. Then you won’t come out of the bathroom looking like Jack Nicholson in About Schmidt.
Okay here we go. The difference between an old and a young photographer is subject matter. When you’re young you can hike anywhere and carry a large pack but when you’re old you have to go shorter distances in your pyjamas.
Handy rule of thumb about where to go: In the driveway is good.
And of course it’s important to prepare carefully when you age. If you’re going all the way to the street, take warm clothing and any medication you might need. Tell your wife where you’re going and inform local police. Give emergency services your mobile number and phone home when you’re half way there. That should be somewhere near the garage.
Handy rule of thumb about trail food: take something easy to chew, like milk.
Watch for bits of driveway grass that could trip you up, and try not to go arse-over-head on slippery concrete. An upturned geriatric photographer in chequered pyjamas with his legs in the air and dribble everywhere is enough to scare the crows.
If you tire half-way to the street, remember the old Special Services mantra: I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. If you can’t, take a nap. And if you can’t remember the mantra, forget what I just said … if you haven’t forgotten it already.
If you make it all the way to the street and then feel too tired to continue, call a taxi.
Now about equipment. Modern camera gear is heavy and cumbersome, designed for 18 year olds with four arms and muscles in their sweat. So, before embarking on your landscape shoot, chuck out anything in your camera bag that could slow you down. That huge 2-stop grad will have to go. So will those heavy lens tissues and any fluff you find hiding in the corners of the bag. (According to the AMA, heavy fluff is the number one killer among geriatric photographers).
Take only one lens. And remember:
• Make it a wide angle; anything longer than 28mm will be heavier than you are.
• Don’t activate focus beep; you’ll never hear it.
• Dial up INFO on the LCD. Anything else is too small to read, even with bifocals the size of milk bottles.
Handy rule of thumb about bracketing exposures: Don’t do it. You’ll never remember which is which.
• Set the camera to P for Professional.
• I glued the rubber viewfinder thingy to my 5D2 because it kept coming off when I pulled the camera out of the bag. Now I can’t get my camera out of the bag. So don’t glue your thingy.
• All camera bags are clumsy and poorly designed so do what I do: carry your camera in a footy sock around your neck. The only drawback with this method of equipment transfer is that when you topple backwards on wet concrete or trip on a blade of grass, the camera will wreak collateral damage. You’ll be upside-down in your $500 North Face mountaineering jacket (over chequered pyjamas) with your legs in the air and a 5D MKII in your mouth.
The decision about which tripod to carry is always a tetchy one with the elderly because tripods are heavy and unfriendly. But I’ve found two solutions: one; don’t use a tripod or; use something lighter than a tripod.
I’ve discovered through trial and catastrophe that common items from the average geriatric household make good tripod substitutes. For example, I’ve achieved acceptably sharp pictures by balancing my 5D2 on a walking stick, two crutches taped together and even on an oxygen cart. I’ve tried hanging my camera from a catheter too but that didn’t work, mainly because the catheter got tangled around my neck and I went down like a starving water buffalo at a Crowne Plaza buffet.
Handy rule of thumb about tripods and/or wheelchairs: if someone would fit a ballhead to a wheelchair, none of us geriatric photographers would have to walk anywhere - or own a tripod.
You probably know this, but old bones don’t flex as well as new ones and this means you’ll have to be careful with picture selection and composition.
Handy rule of thumb about composition: low angles are dangerous. You could be down there a week.
I found this out when I had the catheter around my neck and tried to get up quickly after taking the ultimate picture of a fence post.
Then there’s the matter of what to do with your pictures once you’ve crawled back to the bedroom and got the nurse to do the downloading. If you managed to navigate your way through the perilous straits and rocky outcrops of Photoshop, several on-line photo forums cater to the elderly, and since they receive only three or four pictures a year, thanks to those perilous straits and rocky outcrops, they’ll be glad if not overjoyed to publish your pictures.
Chief among these on-line sites is Soft Tissue, a forum promoting landscape photography among those too infirm to move in any direction. Pixel Pete is another, this one dedicated to 80 year old men who still believe a gallon of testosterone is sloshing around in their systems. Adventure Before Dementia is the new mover and shaker, a colourful, funky site for those who appreciate the larger than normal image format, the big writing, plus the occasional medical explanation, like how come your toe-nails are turning black.
All in all there’s a lot to get involved in if you’re an over 60s photographer who’s sick of playing Fun Things To Do In The Dark, or you’re bored with the weekly Easter egg colouring competition, exchanging cookies, quilt making, mowing the lawn with an iPad or learning Norwegian.
Don’t worry about Hue and Saturation or Smart Sharpen or Curves or Levels or any of that technical stuff. Just stick the camera on your crutch and leave the rest to Nurse Stoneface. She’ll be by next Tuesday. Maybe she’ll help you download again. Won’t that be nice?
-----------------------------
Ain't growing old grand?
You may be old but you still have a fertile mind. Very refreshing to see some light-heartedness in this day of
doom and gloom.
I'm 66 also and still do all the physical stuff.
Photographed in the Brooks Range, AK last August. Day packed up gulches and into saddles for several stunning vistas.
I've posted a few on NPN
Won't last forever but I've found with some training old people can still do some fantastic stuff.
the fisch
Should come in handy soon enough
writing for Conan now?
I can add one to the driveway scenario: Don't twist around too quickly when the pretty young thing next door walks by. You will end up using the wheelchair tripod head sooner than you think.
--P
Maybe that old guy I saw was you. He had tennis balls on the feet of his tripod.
in need of some sort of resurrection. But on the positive side I have just started walking my make believe dog and with his help these still some hope of a revival.
Kent in SD
No mate, I don't write for any of those guys. If I did I could afford a new camera.