The wife and I climbed our first 14er this past weekend, Handies Peak in the San Juans. Although a fairly easy walk-up on a fairly benign and perhaps a tad un-photogenic of a mountain, we were very pleased to have accomplished this achievement. Some of us out west here forget that 98% of the US population will never climb a mountain, let alone a 14er. We take such activities for granted. And truthfully, two years ago, I would have never survived this benign climb up Handies.
You see, 2-years ago I was in intensive cardiac care at St. Vincent’s Hospital Santa Fe with a mysterious unexplained heart ailment that had many symptoms of a heart attack. I was 27-years old, weighed nearly three-hundred pounds, got very little exercise, worked in a stressful profession, and ate terribly. I was that guy who would die way too young because of how unhealthy I had lived. Lying in that hospital bed, I was truly terrified; I thought my life was as good as over, as the doctors hooked up wires all over my body, stuck needles all over me, made me breathe through an oxygen mask. I'll never forget the feeling of being required to breathe through an artificial machine, rather than through the good air of mother earth. Very few experiences are as humbling as that experience, being dependent on a machine for something as elementary as breathing. I'll also never forget the moment where my doctor told me that I would have to have an angioplasty in the morning, a procedure that carried 1/1000 chance of death. When you're 27 and still think you’re invincible, a 1/1000 chance of death is very, very real, not just some impossible lottery odd. I cried all night in that hospital bed, holding my wife’s hand, and thinking about all the beautiful things I had never done, or had never seen, and thought that now it might all be to late. That those places would remain only dark shadows on my soon-to-be folded map of life.
Like so many others have probably done in that position, I promised myself and my wife that I would change my lifestyle in order to improve my health. Of course, this is such an easy promise to make and to break, much the like the prisoner who claims to his judge that he’s reborn in Jesus, to which the best response I’ve ever heard came from a local judge here in Santa Fe who said “a lot of people find Jesus in jail, but the problem is they leave him there”. In order to do the things I always believed that I someday I would do, I needed to rekindle my inner spirit, and to be disciplined enough to keep that fire burning.
Needless to say, the fact that I’m typing this today indicates I survived that ordeal in the hospital 2-years ago. But the real test, which will continue everyday for the rest of my life, is whether I have the will power, desire, faith, and spirit to change my life for the better, to never return to that cold hospital bed where the tears so easy flowed.
So, as I climbed Handies this past Saturday at a much healthier 215 pounds (but still not quite where I want to be), it was so much more than a simple benign hike to 14,053 feet, but rather a celebration of life, spirit, and health. With every step, I realized how far I’ve come in just two short years, and how much further I want to go in my long future. With that realization, I could have climbed that mountain all day to any height, as the physical “feet” paled in comparison to physiological and psychological steps I’ve already taken. In my mind, Handies this past Saturday was my Everest, my symbol of achievement and success, but also a reminder that a fatal storm rests over the next horizon for the unwary.
Rather than closing the book, two-years ago I changed a page to a new, much more exciting story in my life. And my goal as a photographer is to capture some of the new adventure spirit that motivates my continued physiological and psychological changes. Thanks for listening.
We have known each other now for about 1 1/2 years and in that time Sally and I have witnessed an amazing change in your life. Both of us a very happy to see how far you have come and with the time we have spent on the trail lately it's amazing to think of where you were just two short years ago. You have been an inspiration to me not only with regards to photography but also your drive to get out there and enjoy the wilderness and more importantly to appreciate the gift of life. Congratulations on your climb of Handies and breaking free of the prison that was your former lifestyle. Thank you for your friendship.
Brian, very inspiring story. I am very happy for you that you were able to turn it around and really get out there and enjoy life. Good luck with your further adventures, and by the way, great shot!
You can also check out my favorite image along the way up Handies over on ESS. As I say there, this day the Journey itself really was the reward.
Thanks for the nice comments guys! This board continues to inspire my continuing journey with the beauty often displayed here.
And Adam, I appreciate you, Sally, and Ouray's friendship. It makes a big difference! Now, if I my new healty lifestyle only included slowing down on the highway...
Brian,
That's a great view from the top of Handies and a great story to go along with it.
Congratulations on maintaining your lifestyle change. Here's to many more fourteeners.
I'd recommend Sneffels next, and if you venture up into the Denver area I'm sure we can get Erik to run you up Long's Peak.
Brian, your pictures from this trip are amazing. However, my real congratulations comes from your inspirational story. Thanks for being vulnerable...its not something that we have the pleasure of hearing every day. It looks like we're going to have to get a RMNP 14er trip going one of these days. The more I see pictures of them the more I want to climb them- soon. I climbed eight of them in July and August last year and I haven't done a single one this year. Your recent accomplishment reminded me of the amazing top of the world feeling!
Beautiful images and an inspiring story, Brian. It's great to see someone take matters into their own hands and find the focus and committment necessary to effect positive, meaningful change. As you said, making the promise in moments of despair is easy; actually following through is a sign (imo) of uncommon character. Congrats on your success so far, and warm wishes for the rest of your journey.
Think carefully the meaning of this line: When your eye is at the waterline, your horizon is not very far off. It all has to do with perspective. It sounds like you have been to the waterline and your horizon was not very far off at all. On the other hand you made it to the top of the world. How has that changed your perspective? Congratulations on a wonderful change and the beautiful images to complement the journey.
Michael
Posted by Jason Woerly on July 7, 2006 at 10:43 AM
Inspiring images and story Brian. Your view south from the top makes me want to be anywhere but behind my desk right now.
Great image and inspiring story. Thanks for sharing.
So many of us forget that we only have today and really need to take a big bite out of life. Most of the stuff we get bogeed down with in our everyday lives is really just junk!
Hmmm. Think I'll head to Mt. Evans this afternoon!
Congrats again and look forward to seeing you for a very long time on the trail.
Brian, Great images and a better story! I will never, ever take another hike for granted. Thanks for so humbly sharing your experience and life change. You have faced your demons and emerged a different person. I've always thought that every one of us is an athlete inside - you are living proof.
Brian, touching 'Ode' and one that reminds us that we should never take things for granted. Congratulations on following through on your commitment you made that fateful day and here's to being able to find that inner strength to continue on your "new" path in life.
Craig
PS: I can see why your ESS shot is your favorite. A truely great way to start a new day.
As someone who works in healthcare I see people of your former self quite often, and quite often I hear the promises of "getting healthy" and quite often I have been on hand when that person returns via ambulance in the middle of a cardiac arrest. I can only praise you for your commitment, and dedication. With an attitude like that I can only sense success for you and all of your future goals, like Scott B. said "Good on you". Nice shots by the way............J
This is such a great story that the photo almost pales in comparison - and it's a wonderful photo. But the story really touched me, and it was something I needed to read, almost at this exact moment, but for reasons I'll not mention here. I hope you don't mind my posting a link to this story in my weblog.
Thank you for sharing your amazing story, Brian. Committing yourself to a regimen of health is perhaps the greatest gift you could have given yourself. I am humbled and inspired by your dedication. Congratulations on the 180 degree turn you fought so hard to make, and best wishes for a lifetime of climbing 14'ers with your wife.
Discussion
27 repliesThe wife and I climbed our first 14er this past weekend, Handies Peak in the San Juans. Although a fairly easy walk-up on a fairly benign and perhaps a tad un-photogenic of a mountain, we were very pleased to have accomplished this achievement. Some of us out west here forget that 98% of the US population will never climb a mountain, let alone a 14er. We take such activities for granted. And truthfully, two years ago, I would have never survived this benign climb up Handies.
You see, 2-years ago I was in intensive cardiac care at St. Vincent’s Hospital Santa Fe with a mysterious unexplained heart ailment that had many symptoms of a heart attack. I was 27-years old, weighed nearly three-hundred pounds, got very little exercise, worked in a stressful profession, and ate terribly. I was that guy who would die way too young because of how unhealthy I had lived. Lying in that hospital bed, I was truly terrified; I thought my life was as good as over, as the doctors hooked up wires all over my body, stuck needles all over me, made me breathe through an oxygen mask. I'll never forget the feeling of being required to breathe through an artificial machine, rather than through the good air of mother earth. Very few experiences are as humbling as that experience, being dependent on a machine for something as elementary as breathing. I'll also never forget the moment where my doctor told me that I would have to have an angioplasty in the morning, a procedure that carried 1/1000 chance of death. When you're 27 and still think you’re invincible, a 1/1000 chance of death is very, very real, not just some impossible lottery odd. I cried all night in that hospital bed, holding my wife’s hand, and thinking about all the beautiful things I had never done, or had never seen, and thought that now it might all be to late. That those places would remain only dark shadows on my soon-to-be folded map of life.
Like so many others have probably done in that position, I promised myself and my wife that I would change my lifestyle in order to improve my health. Of course, this is such an easy promise to make and to break, much the like the prisoner who claims to his judge that he’s reborn in Jesus, to which the best response I’ve ever heard came from a local judge here in Santa Fe who said “a lot of people find Jesus in jail, but the problem is they leave him there”. In order to do the things I always believed that I someday I would do, I needed to rekindle my inner spirit, and to be disciplined enough to keep that fire burning.
Needless to say, the fact that I’m typing this today indicates I survived that ordeal in the hospital 2-years ago. But the real test, which will continue everyday for the rest of my life, is whether I have the will power, desire, faith, and spirit to change my life for the better, to never return to that cold hospital bed where the tears so easy flowed.
So, as I climbed Handies this past Saturday at a much healthier 215 pounds (but still not quite where I want to be), it was so much more than a simple benign hike to 14,053 feet, but rather a celebration of life, spirit, and health. With every step, I realized how far I’ve come in just two short years, and how much further I want to go in my long future. With that realization, I could have climbed that mountain all day to any height, as the physical “feet” paled in comparison to physiological and psychological steps I’ve already taken. In my mind, Handies this past Saturday was my Everest, my symbol of achievement and success, but also a reminder that a fatal storm rests over the next horizon for the unwary.
Rather than closing the book, two-years ago I changed a page to a new, much more exciting story in my life. And my goal as a photographer is to capture some of the new adventure spirit that motivates my continued physiological and psychological changes. Thanks for listening.
We have known each other now for about 1 1/2 years and in that time Sally and I have witnessed an amazing change in your life. Both of us a very happy to see how far you have come and with the time we have spent on the trail lately it's amazing to think of where you were just two short years ago. You have been an inspiration to me not only with regards to photography but also your drive to get out there and enjoy the wilderness and more importantly to appreciate the gift of life. Congratulations on your climb of Handies and breaking free of the prison that was your former lifestyle. Thank you for your friendship.
Sincerely,
Adam
Thanks for the nice comments guys! This board continues to inspire my continuing journey with the beauty often displayed here.
And Adam, I appreciate you, Sally, and Ouray's friendship. It makes a big difference! Now, if I my new healty lifestyle only included slowing down on the highway...
That's a great view from the top of Handies and a great story to go along with it.
Congratulations on maintaining your lifestyle change. Here's to many more fourteeners.
I'd recommend Sneffels next, and if you venture up into the Denver area I'm sure we can get Erik to run you up Long's Peak.
Michael
Guy
Great image and inspiring story. Thanks for sharing.
So many of us forget that we only have today and really need to take a big bite out of life. Most of the stuff we get bogeed down with in our everyday lives is really just junk!
Hmmm. Think I'll head to Mt. Evans this afternoon!
Congrats again and look forward to seeing you for a very long time on the trail.
RichieV
Dave Showalter
Craig
PS: I can see why your ESS shot is your favorite. A truely great way to start a new day.
Bravo to you, good sir. Truly inspirational.
Cheers